Great post! You are not alone at all.
I’m in the best shape of my life, physically and mentally, but just last week I was in a dressing room with some pretty harsh lighting and had a slight meltdown.
I have to consistently remind myself how far I have come, and everything my body is capable of.
Sure, at one time I was a lot skinnier, but I wasn’t eating, had no energy, slept all day, was extremely depressed, etc. I couldn’t even dream of what I am able to do today!

Hmmm, I totally get the uneasy feeling you are having about feeling uncomfortable at the beach. I think most of us have those feelings you have. Like I can use some more toning of my butt and thigh area, what women doesn’t right?! lol! But still. Look around the beach next time, no one is perfect. The pictures of those women in those magazines we look at are always touched up so that they look flawless.
You said you feel better than you did 2 years ago, use that confidence on the beach. It’s all about the having the confindence within yourself and not caring what others think. It doesn’t mean you have to wear a skimpy suit. It’s amazing what the right fitting bathing suit can do for us ladies.
Looking forward to that cookie recipe!!!!
.-= JoLynn-dreaminitvegan´s last blog ..!!! TWEET NOW for FARM SANCTURARY !!! =-.

If you’re interested in yoga I would suggest taking a few classes first. The instructor will be able to correct your postures and make sure that you won’t cause yourself any injuries. After taking my first yoga class I learned that my downward facing dog was all sorts of wrong. Now I know how to correctly do different poses and I’m more aware of things like keeping a straight back and all that good stuff.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Once upon a time =-.

You are so not alone. I think every one of us gets sucked into the thinner=happier game/the if only I lost X more/a bathing suit *shriek!*…at times.
I try to listen to what I am drilling into my 2 little girls – the lesson and amazement of look what a healthy body can do when you feed it what it needs & wants….rather than any focus on weight and size.
As for yoga, I’m the same. I’ve done it many, many times but it has never just clicked with me as a natural thing for my body. I feel much more in tune lifting and running.

I love this post! Even the healthiest of us (including this trainer) have things about our body that we still want to work on. Then we are bombarded with all of these unhealthy but skinny images in the media that you can’t help but be affected. If I have a moment I stop and remind myself of all the wonderful things my body IS. I have strong legs, I can cycle for hours and I am not constantly on a “diet”. I am happy and healthy and so are you!
.-= Pamela Hernandez´s last blog ..Family Fitness Intervention =-.

Thank you for this wonderful post! I have these thoughts frequently… in fact, I began working out for superficial reasons and they still haunt me daily. However, just reading your post helped put things in perspective for me. I love my vegetarian diet, I love running, and most of all, I love how it has made me feel. Sure, I don’t have six pack abs, but I sure as hell look better than a lot of people out there and I will most likely live years longer than they will. I think it is okay to be superficial, just as long as you enjoy clean eating and exercise and how that makes you feel also. Thanks again for the wonderful post!

I think it’s normal and healthy to analyze your feelings of insecurity, especially with you’re dealing with something as appearance-focused as bearing all for the world to see in a bikini. When is it ok to not be a “perfect” 10? When you let health outweigh vanity? Or maybe when you no longer allow society to dictate what is perfect for YOU!

I struggle with this every day! I think it has been worse lately because I am coming out of a long period of inactivity and have gained some weight. That and being inactive and losing all that fitness, strikes fear into my heart about bathing suits…I told a friend the other day that she won’t be seeing me at the pool this year! Than it made me sad how much I let my insecurities keep me from my relationships. When I was marathon training last year, I was discovering all the things my body could do…(things I never thought I could) and finding ways to really push myself. The exhilaration of that seemed to override my body issues some, because I was so energetic and loving my new athlete-ness…is that a word?….I do get sucked into comparing myself, I admit. I want to be healthy again..and these days..that includes running without injury and developing my endurance! Of course, I wouldn’t mind toning up on the way!

This is a wonderful post! Like everyone I have moments where I feel super insecure with my body, feel like I should lose weight, etc. The fact of the matter is I am in the best shape of my life, but since that means I’m about 10-15lbs heavier than I was a few years back, I sometimes feel like I need to be skinnier. I just like to remind myself that my body is right for me and will carry me across the finish line of the Boston Marathon on Monday with a big smile on my face.
Skinny does not mean healthy, which we all know, but sometimes we need reinforced a bit. You are beautiful and in my opinion brave for admitting to the negative thoughts and posting about it. 🙂
.-= Catherine´s last blog ..Sushi time! =-.

I definitely still go through days of insecurity and I try very hard to just be so thankful for what my body can do, that usually helps me come back…but um I live in miami…at the beach…where I think only beautiful people live so that idea of a better body seems to always be in my face
.-= RunToTheFinish´s last blog ..Opinions Wanted Friday: Anonymous Commenter =-.

This is a wonderful post! I myself have had the same trouble, and coming from a male’s perspective I can say it’s very similar to what you’ve described. I’ve fought with weight and when I finally lost a ton of it I kept thinking “just a few more pounds, I’ll be thinner and I’ll look better.” And that’s the kind of thing that pushed me to the other end of the extreme-obsession picture. I kept focusing on doing crunches and eating less so that the excess skin around my stomach would tighten up because everytime I sat down it would fold over and I’d still feel like the “fat kid.”
I’ve come to realize how silly this is because now I’ve lost so much weight I don’t look too great in beach attire to begin with, but what’s important is that I’m learning to accept who I am and how I look. No longer do I envy my friends because they’re “thin” or “ripped,” but I’m happy with the abs I have, I’m becoming happier with the body that I was given by God and I’m finally learning that just because you have a 6-pack doesn’t mean you’re fit, happy, healthy, or anything of that nature.
More people need to focus on individual beauty and differences in humans that are going to occur because it’s the “omg-you-don’t-look-like-[insert hot sexy person here]-you-shouldn’t-be-at-the-beach” kind of thinking that makes others more self-conscious and leads us to feeling bad about ourselves. If we could accept each other for who we are, we wouldn’t have to look to celebrities for how we’re supposed to look.
.-= Daniel´s last blog ..Drained =-.

I have to say as a fitness instructor I have also felt that insecure feeling, moreso since moving to CA, USA where the motto seems to be “if you aren’t happy we have surgery to fix it”. I had a 10 year break from fitness (for many reasons) and in that time put on 30 lbs. In Dec 2008 I decided that I wanted to pursue a fitness career again but knew I needed to regain my fitness, hopefully lose the 30 lbs or at least change the body composition, to FEEL better. I wasn’t happy with how I looked or felt with that extra padding. Now 16 months later I lost the 30 lbs but most importantly I am a whole different size than before because my body composition changed. I lost some fat, gained lots of muscle and in certain lights yes I have a barely visible 6 pack that I worked hard for! I actually eat more now than I did 2 years ago, it’s just clean filling food.
For me personally my body issues have come from the amount of boob jobs I’ve seen here in the US. Now, as a small breasted woman, I am in the minority but I will NOT succumb to surgery for many reasons. It’s not healthy, or natural (2 things I am supposed to be an ambassador for as a fitness professional) and if I got surgery I’d continue to perpetuate the myth of the ‘perfect figure’. I rather FEEL great, than look ‘great’.
We as humans are ALL different, sure we could get surgery and look like each other, but where would be the fun in that? Plus you can guarantee that every “seemingly perfect shaped woman” out there has some insecurities about her own body. It’s just the way we’ve conditioned ourselves! Rise up, accept your body, go natural, go vegan/vegetarian, go healthy!
ps. those ab machines don’t work, save the $$. just do some planks, scissors, in-outs, ab curls and cardio.
.-= Di´s last blog ..C25K week 7 day 2 =-.

And to be somewhat contrary … if you’re mentally ok (i.e., don’t have an obsessive personality), use that vanity, body insecurity, and desire to look like a Shape cover model to your advantage — just be ok with it when that perfection is not reached. It’s tough to stay in shape and be healthy (especially, when you get to law school). Sometimes being healthy will be all the motivation you need … and sometimes not. Vanity can be good, I hope to always care about my appearance because it motivates me to change things up when I start to get complacent – e.g., I usually run a lot more during the winter and March but didn’t this year because of work (not the snow, loved that) & despite probably my best veg diet ever, I gained a few pounds around the love handles that I didn’t like in the mirror … and it made me realize I need a new exercise regime. My mantra is that I’m happy with my body, but I want to be happier with it (just like a I think I’m a good person, but could be better one). I’ll never attain the perfect body, but I’ll be a healthier person for trying, … and I won’t beat myself when I don’t attain it, just keep on trying.
BTW, running is great, but do mix it up if you wanna look like Julia-Louis Dreyfus’s airbrushed Shape cover. Just like a good vegetarian diet is based on a variety of foods, doing the same exercise over and over has diminishing returns. As suggested earlier, pilates may be more to your liking, or try polymetrics, TRX (I have one, it’s a great & pretty cheap workout) or other forms of strength training. Also, if you look at olympic athletes, the sprinters have the best all around toned bodies, speed training = strength training for your “core” & legs.
Another reason for my couple extra lbs was that I neglected my speed training the last couple months and did no runs beyond 4-5 miles since the fall. I picked up my training in the last week (two runs) & need to do more since a race I’ve done for 10+ years in coming up on 4-24, all trail, 1/2 mara, followed by 10k, followed by 5k … & a 4 mile fun run that afternoon. So, that old standby of training goal is still a good way to mix things up when work/school/life gets in the way.
And, oh yeah, your father was right, nice post and Congrats Matt & Erin.

i feel like i could have written this post! i am going to the beach NEXT WEEKEND and although i am excited, i am slightly freaking out because i feel very uncomfortable in my bathing suits right now. and like you, i am at a very healthy weight, and i am in shape. but i am about 15 pounds more than i was in college (graduated in may) and i am not comfortable in my skin yet. i’m going to the beach with some close friends and my boyfriend so there is zero chance of anyone judging my non-perfect abs. i just can’t shake the idea that i’m supposed to look like a magazine cover girl (or at least the skinner girl i was at age 19).
also, i feel the same way about yoga (sorry i can’t help you out!). i really really want to like it, but i am very inflexible and it is frustrating and not really relaxing for me. i keep going hoping i will improve, or one day i will finally “get it,” but i’m not there yet. running is the best form of meditation for me 🙂

Well put Daniel, I know exactly how you feel. I got into running, triathlons, and even partially vegetarianism to loose weight. I realized though after I had loss too much weight that it was having a negative effect on my performance and overall health. Regardless of what Men’s Health and other magazines tell us, Thinner does not mean better, healthier, or faster. However, I still feel uncomfortable in my skin regardless of weight. There is something always in the back of my mind that picks out one or two imperfections in my body or performance. Like most of you have said, we have to accept these faults and ourselves or we will never escape this cycle.
Yoga has helped me relax and get rid of some of these anxious, negative scruples.

Caveman would be rolling over in his grave (if he had one, I suppose) to know that the major problem with modern-day Americans is that there’s too much food!
I can’t possibly preach from a pedestal – I’ve been there and still am there some days. What helps me more than anything else is knowing that those “perfect” girls have problems we wouldn’t want (Elin Woods – hello! have you seen her?!).
You’ve got all your limbs and your health – don’t let your perception of the thoughts of other people (that don’t matter, if you think about it) ruin your day at the beach.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..One Adoption Event: A Small Success =-.

It’s not just women!
.-= AndrewENZ´s last blog ..Best Running Song Ever? =-.

Oh, the struggle for self-acceptance. My entire life women have called me “skinny” and said they envied me. It’s ironic because I’ve never felt thin and indeed, always felt that my little pot belly made me look fat and made my clothes hang poorly on me. I worried that someone would ask if I was pregnant (it did happen once). I’ve never felt comfortable in a bikini and avoid bathing suits in general if possible (I’ll wear shorts). I own several “body suckers” that I think don’t suck in enough! I’m 46 years old, wear a size 4 and still feel fat and I don’t know why I’ve always felt this way. As I’ve gotten older, when I find myself hating my body, I try to remember that I’m my own harshest critic and being healthy and fit is truly what matters. But it’s a struggle and like you, I also feel embarrassed about “drinking the girly kool-aid.” It does help to know there are so many like me who struggle to overcome the “I must have a perfect shape or I’m not good enough” thinking. Great post.

Oh Christine, I luv you for writing this post. I hear (and feel) your pain, sister! Like some of the other commenters, I am also a personal trainer. I am a very active and eat great. Unfortunately, from having competed in Figure competitions in my past, I’ve been my physical best (from a ‘looks’ standpoint, not necessarily ‘healthy’ standpoint.) But the stage pics don’t equate into ‘real life’ or ‘daily living’ for me. It was SO tough to get ‘stage ready’ and in my head I KNOW this, but I still compare where I am now to those pics. I only weigh 113 lbs but I seem to have a Jekyll and Hyde body: the front of me looks great, then the BACKSIDE is a whole other beast all together. Why do we have to have the lumpy bumpy cellulite even when we are fit individuals? It’s so frustrating. So every day it’s a mental challenge for me to embrace my body as it is, be happy that it’s HEALTHY and know that I do what’s right for this ‘temple’ of mine.
Anyway, just wanted to say you’re not alone. We all (or at least most of us) experience the same thing so don’t beat yourself up, and celebrate how all the GREAT things you are doing for your body by no longer smoking or eating meat!
Love this post, and thanks again for sharing with us!

Christine,
This is a problem most women face at one point or another. I think it is great that you realize that it really is about how you feel and not about how you look. Strength comes from within, as does true beauty. If you want to tone your abs I suggest the basic plank. The plank will tone your core much better than crunches and will strengthen your entire body, not just your abs.